SEAL ON ICE
TWICE AS NICE
SEAL ON ICE
TWICE AS NICE
SEAL ON ICE
TWICE AS NICE
SEAL ON ICE
TWICE AS NICE
SEAL ON ICE
TWICE AS NICE
SEAL ON ICE
TWICE AS NICE
SEAL ON ICE
TWICE AS NICE
SEAL ON ICE
TWICE AS NICE
SEAL ON ICE
TWICE AS NICE
SEAL ON ICE
TWICE AS NICE

» OK, let’s just stop to think about how bizarre it is to read about figure skating on the self-proclaimed “world’s most dangerous site”. Maybe one day in the future, it won’t seem so odd to see thugs decked out in sequined neon pink spandex gliding across the ice, but for right now it’s sort of mind-blowing. Figure skating’s whitebreadedness runs rampant, so it’s no surprise that hip hop receives very little love from its community; most attempts come off like Al Jolson in blackface. (Blades of Glory mines this area for a majority of its laughs, “Haw, haw, look at the clueless skaters, their corny outfits and being 10-15 years behind musical trends!”) Maybe if figure skating’s governing bodies addressed this with some sort of programming initiative, maybe skating would cease to be laughably awful. At least from a glance, rollerskating seems less divided on gender/ethnicity/class issues; additionally it’s been more in tune, if not instrumental, with musical trends (disco, hip hop, etc) as a result of its egalitarian attitude.

U.S. Ice Dance Champions Campaign for Hip-Hop Music in Competition
By Chris Richburg

Hip-Hop may be one of the hottest genres in music, but it has received a chilly reception in the world of ice dancing.

However, that may change if four-time U.S. ice dance champions Tanith Belbin and Ben Agosto have a say.

Belbin and Agosto are recognized world-wide as one of the top American couples in ice dancing.

The 2006 Olympic silver medalists recently captured a bronze medal at the 2006 world championships.

The pair incorporated music from Justin Timberlake during their routine Friday night (April 6) at the Marshalls Showcase, the final event of the figure skating season.

The positive crowd reaction reinforced Belbin and Agosto’s belief that ice-skating audiences are ready to hear new music from skaters.

”We’re trying to push Hip-Hop and it’s never been accepted in the current international community,” Belbin told the San Diego Union Tribune. ”Hopefully someday we’ll be able to spice up the competitions. ‘We meet after the world championships every year and talk about the regulations for next season. We need more North American teams trying it before we can get it accepted,” she added.

Although changes in ice dance have been slow, there has been progress over the last decade.

”It’s difficult, because we’re young and a new generation and this is what we listen to and dance to,” said Belbin, who remains positive in spite of the uphill battle to have Hip-Hop accepted. ”It’s tough to be deprived of it.”

While the International Skating Union has encouraged skaters to try something from their culture, the governing body has provided no guidelines, as evidenced by news that the original dance for next season will be folk music.

There are few parameters offered on what defines folk.

”We’re trying to expand the audience of our sport and Hip-Hop is a huge part of our culture,” said Agosto. “We’d love to tap into it.”

Belbin and Agosto are currently on tour with Champions on Ice. After the tour, the duo will take a break and work on new routines that could include more Hip-Hop.

» Whitney Pastorek (who is really, really good at covering Bon Jovi on the acoustic guitar, if I say so) wrote this kind of amazing piece about the state of critical thought in these You™-heavy times. Yeah, it’s nothing new, but it was good to read.

» Tonight I’m off to cover Spoon at the Stone Pony in Asbury Park, NJ — what, did you think I was going to spend 15$ to watch the band in a crowded, poorly ventilated room here in town? You must be out of your freaking mind. I really, really want Springsteen to show up and jam with the band.

» Last but not least, my radio show is on tomorrow. Same Bat time, same Bat channel. I had to take off last week on account of some Heavy Life Stuff.

OK, I suck: I’m all “OOOH, EXCLUSIVE REVIEW STAY TUNED DAEREST RAEDERS” and then I can’t even post something. My weekend was action-packed, followed by some grad-school related drama and a long, timesucky day at work. So you can probably understand that when I get home, all I want to do is veg on the couch. But here it is, you whiners, my take on Blades of Glory; if it’s rambly and nonsensical, you should have given me another day. Here are some inital thoughts:

To think of Blades of Glory as Talladega Nights On Ice is mere laziness, but for anyone with more than a passing interest in figure skating, there’s so much to sift through. As I’ve stated previously, one of the great things about skating is that it allows you to see all sorts of cultural issues (gender, class, blah blah blah) manifest themselves in the sport. And on that note, no review so far has pointed out that this is the first major motion picture about male figure skaters. There is a 2002 film, Ma vraie vie à Rouen, that documents the life of a homosexual male skater, so this concept is not entirely new. But for American audiences, who have been subjected to countless films where the central figure is female (and struggling with her sexual identity through boyfriends, athletic choices, etc.), the concept alone seems pretty groundbreaking.

BOG isn’t the Brokeback Mountain of skate stories, however. It pretty much runs the straight and narrow: Chazz Michael Michaels (Will Ferrell) is a sex addict (and a lousy amalgamation of Elvis Stojko & Philippe Candeloro), Jimmy MacElroy (Jon Heder) appears as a Johnny Weir knockoff initially, eventually going hetero when the love interest rolls around. This is somewhat of a disappointment — the closest it gets to being edgy in this respect, are the touches of Ziggy Stardust-era Bowie glam in costuming choices.

Even though Arnett is rehashing his G.O.B. character and Poehler her countless blond bimbo roles, the two manage to put forth the meatiest stuff to pick apart. From their homage to Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch to JFK and Marilyn, they provide the performances that make people go OMGWTFLOL at the sport of skating. Their overmelodramatic, Disneyification of history and pop culture is probably the most realistic element of this film.

On that note, technical flaws are all over this film, from the special effects used in jump sequences (the bodies rotate too quickly to be real), the scoring system (changes from the old ordinals to the NJS) — and it drives me nuts. The film goes out of its way to fabricate every other element of skating culture (governing bodies, competition names, rules, etc.), but I don’t get why they want to be so accurate on this one.

Today is the day — Blades of Glory is finally out in theaters! Check back over the weekend for my exclusive review.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW EXCITED I AM ABOUT THIS? And do you realize that High School Musical On Ice is coming to Philly?

Another indie rock on ice moment for you, courtesy of Quebecois pairs team Utako Wakamatsu & Jean-Sebastien Fecteau. If only they replicated the fluid nature of OK GO’s treadmill dance, maybe I wouldn’t snooze through this.

Thanks to Kristin for passing this along!

Italian figure skater Valentina Marchei puts together a pretty enjoyable exhibition performance using the Pipettes’ “Pull Shapes”; I can’t help but marvel at the parallels between the two — what _do_ they do when the music stops?

OK, holy fucking shit. Doesn’t the last clip resemble the opening of something familiar? Wait, is it just me or does this feel like my paper in reverse?

The copy is eye-stabbingly awful, the music is even worse but I don’t care. If loving this ice show is wrong, then I don’t wanna be right:

Country’s favorite “Red Neck Woman”, Gretchen Wilson, will sing twelve songs on a full stage accompanied by the performances of skating’s best — including Kurt Browning, Todd Eldredge, Irina Slutskya, Michael Weiss and more! The combination of Country’s hot-hot-hot CMA, CMT, and Grammy Winning artist, Gretchen Wilson, and the Olympic, World, and National Champion caliber skating performances guarantee that, much like Gretchen’s debut album, “Gretchen Wilson’s Country on Ice” is “Here For the Party”!

Someone out there has to know how I can get my hands on comp tickets. If I miss this apex of cultural sophistication my life might as well be over. Help a girl out, willya? I’m even opening up comments for this one.

Come on big money, no whammies…

This is definitely _not_ a replacement for a coach, but the USFSA has posted a bunch of diagrams & videos on their site. If you haven’t plunked down the cash for a USFSA membership, grab the diagrams, since they’re straight out of the members-only rulebook. The videos are useful too, but only if you’re using Windows Media or RealVideo as your player.

finally, oh finally, some actual responses to my EMP piece! im really loving the remarks about how “unresearched” it was. also quite killer is the remark from the person who goes on and on about how im fixated on class/gender issues but this person admits they don’t know anything about class/gender theory. that’s some next-level GWB logic there, yo.