OMG, school is so freaking awesome. I read hundreds and hundreds of pages, then I think about how it relates to the things I do! Granted, the thing that I do is listen to music, watch TV and goof around on the internet — which really means the only thing I can focus on these days is Britney Spears. (Who, I should add, looks great for having two kids but seriously needs to rethink the whole “wearing underwear on stage” schtick. So confidential to Brit Brit: listen to your handlers, please, when they tell you to cover up.)

I recently re-read Douglas Coupland’s Shampoo Planet; inspired by its Table of Elements and Tragic Character Flaws, it popped into my mind to boil down a lot of the phenomenological and cultural elements of the 1990’s into bite-sized, two-word phrases. Here’s some suggestions, courtesy of friends. (Thanks to all who indulged in this exercise.) I have no idea why I capitalized this originally — maybe it was the spirit of Coupland flowing through my veins:

PLATFORM BIRKENSTOCKS
OK SODA
CRYSTAL PEPSI
GRUNGE ROCK
RIOT GRRRL
120 MINUTES
SEVEN INCH
CHAPEL HILL
BILL CLINTON
SASSY MAGAZINE
BENETTON COLORS
GLOBAL TEENS
REALITY BITES
DOC MARTENS
FLANNEL SHIRTS
THE CROW
PEARL JAM
INDIE ROCK
ALTERNATIVE NATION
GANGSTA RAP
THE CHRONIC
NOTORIOUS B.I.G.
ARSENIO HALL
SUB POP
SIMPLE MACHINES
JESSE CAMP
VANILLA ICE
COUNTING CROWS
SPIN DOCTORS
BLUES TRAVELER
BEE GIRL
SPICE GIRLS
MONICA LEWINSKY
LILITH FAIR
AARON SPELLING
SHANNEN DOHERTY
TORI AMOS
KOSOVO CONFLICT
NAPSTER DOWNLOADS
SMART DRUGS
FOAM PARTIES
BLIND MELON
ANTIOCH RULES
SPIN MAGAZINE
MATT PINFIELD
SECOND STAGE (as in Lollapalooza)
SOUL PATCH
THIRD WAVE
‘ZINE CONVENTION
SOUP NAZI
YADDA YADDA
DOT COM
INTERNET STARTUP
STOCK OPTIONS
URBAN FETCH
SMASHING PUMPKINS
POP LOSER
ROLLINS BAND
NEW MEDIA

My life has been on a good streak lately, so there’s no real reason to clog it up with negativity, but these things I’m about to tell you, well, they gnaw and pick away at the very fabric of my soul….

The Italian Market = Ethnic Cuisine Amateur Hour
Over the weekend, I went to every store that carried Italian products, inquiring about panelle and arancine. I’ve been itching to have these lately, but was shocked to discover that none of the big names — Claudio’s, DiBruno Bros., Tallutos and so on — carried them. Well, half-truth: apparently Pronto, the DiBruno Bros. to-go store, carries a meat-free, wussed-out version of arancine — excuse me, croquettes. As for the panelle, looks like I’m going to have to take a trip to Bay Ridge or figure out a way to make my own recipe stop sucking.

Blogs I Can’t Fucking Read
Deep down, underneath the mania of Web 2.0, we all desire to be special snowflakes. It’s the motivation behind the countless, endless tweaks of blogs. As you may notice, I’ve fallen prey to the siren’s call time and time again. And I know I’ve put you through some lousy blog templates, but the one thing I’ve never done is made the type so small that it defies the whole reading aspect of it. So I ask bloggers, both near and far to do this for me — make your type size bigger. Please. Em, pixel, pica, point, whatevs. I shouldn’t need to create a Greasemonkey script for cleaning up your design oversight. Just nothing smaller than 11px — I don’t have health insurance, and the eyestrain is really, really taking its toll.

New Slang: “Gettin’ Honused” / “Honus Bonus”
This comes straight from my pal MTV and his sister, coined by being frequently shortchanged on coffee fill-ups by a certain barista-cum-indie-darling. If the coffee cup has way less than you paid for, you “got honused”. Similarly speaking, if your cup had an ample amount of coffee in it, you were the recipient of a “honus bonus”. Seeing the words “honus”, “cum”, and “indie” in the same paragraph = not a bonus.

Tobacco Companies & Their Marketing Ploys Strike Again
Seems like the upcoming Dinosaur Jr. show in town is being sponsored by Camel Cigarettes. It’s not being marketed that way, but if you wanted to know who’s ponying up the cash for the gig, well, there you go. I have this strong feeling that Dinosaur Jr. can command a hefty sum on their own, so why they’d want to get tangled up with R.J. Reynolds is beyond me. Looks like RJR is lobbying against a tax increase on cigs right now, anyway. Aside from the whole issue of bands being stupid enough to take this money, I wonder if RJR feels middle class indie rock yuppie types have the political clout they desperately need to make legislation like this happen. I just can’t imagine West Philly basement punks organizing a show a la Books Through Bars. Funny, I feel like I’ve been down this road before…

Ahhhh, I start school in exactly two weeks!!! On the one hand I’ve been waiting for this moment, on the other I’m just not ready to think about homework and grades just yet (despite the fact that I’ve been TAing a film history course all summer long, so really, this is a non-complaint). Make no mistake: I am psyched. More psyched than you could ever imagine.

On that note…

» More blogging for Billboard is up. As you know, it’s a competition and the grand prize is covering an awards show from the red carpet. I could be the greatest writer since Dickens and a better photographer than Ansel Adams* but this is a game of cold, hard numbers, folks, and right now an entry about C14y 41k3n is kicking my ass. I need your comments and pageviews now so that I can fulfill my destiny of attending a red carpet event in a satin gown. Tell your friends, family and dogs to log on.

[* I don't like Dickens or Adams, but I think you get the symbolic nature of the references.]

» The baritone sax player from the Budos Band is really, really hot.

» Jancee Dunn’s memoir is very funny. Probably the best out of the current round of “I Lived Through The 90’s” memoirs.

» My last radio show of the summer is 8/21, don’t forget to tune in.

OK, so here’s my crazy news: A few weeks ago I submitted an entry for Billboard Magazine’s “Mobile Beat” contest. It was one of those moments where I said to myself “Wouldn’t it be funny if I applied for this?” And then I did. Hey, I just went through the ordeal of applying to grad school, so was capable of handling the eventual rejection that would come my way. And Billboard had every right to turn me down — I’m published, etc blah blah blah.

But I guess there was no clause stating someone with experience couldn’t participate, so now here I am… a finalist in the Billboard/LG “Mobile Beat” competition. Over the course of the summer I’ll get to cover live music events and live blog ‘em. Gee, this sounds awfully familiar. Cynicism aside, I am psyched about this. It’ll give me the opportunity to write and expose my “talents” to a larger audience, for better or worse.

Now here’s the catch: this thing is a contest and relies on audience participation, like American Idol. (I mean really, if I wanted to blog unpaid and unnoticed I’d post here more often. Hiooooo!) So check out my posts and comment on them because it will help me win a chance to cover some large awards event from the red carpet. Lord knows I’ve been itching to don a satiny evening gown these days. Can you imagine me chatting it up with Kelly Clarkson while wearing that get-up? (Feel free to insert your own rock star fantasy here.) Exactly.

Time for the weekend and very soon I’ll be able to make an announcement about some stuff I’m working on. In the meantime…

The hot news is that the Magik Markers are due with a record soon. Is this press release an elaborate prank or for serious?

jeff: oh I was just laughing at this press release for the new Magik Markers record
akbar: nice what does it say?
jeff: I’ll give you some choice passages:
jeff: With a mix of blues simplicity, an almost Sonny Sharrock wailing and a janky Americana punk reminiscent of Pat Place and Roky Erickson, Ambrogio avoids preciousness like a rash.
jeff: With Peter Nolan, we finally hear what Lou Reed would have sounded like had he sallied with the drums instead of getting seduced by the easy praise of front man status. Like Rasheed Ali squeezed into the Teutonic leather pants of Faust, Nolan drums like there are hell hounds at his heels but he just can’t be bothered.
akbar: “Ambrogio avoids preciousness like a rash”
akbar: um
jeff: Nolan is easy to underestimate, but finally, here is high fidelity record of the strange soul of one of America’s most natural and quizzical musical minds.
jeff: the soul of his mind?
akbar: isnt that what mm are about — hot girl making noise?
jeff: haha totally
jeff: On BOSS, a tent rises right out of the empty plain and we are thrust into a full blown revival show with no audience and no lights; it is just Elisa preaching, Pete blowing Gabriel’s horn, and the mad wind of the prarie blowing all around.
akbar: who the eff wrote this shit?
jeff: some total loser, and/or Thurston
jeff: When confronted with an example of magnificence in nature, such as a waterfall, Jane Goodall reported that the chimpanzees she observed were captivated, as if in awe of the beauty of the world. On BOSS, the Magik Markers have tried to capture the chimps’ awe.
akbar: …
jeff: Mixing a gentle vulnerability with a winded egomania, the Markers have always had a musical tunnel vision; BOSS is that vision made manifest.
jeff: winded egomania is the first thing I’ve agreed with
akbar: you’re killing me — stop

Generated by im2html.

OK. My personal life is getting weirder and weirder by the nanofuckingsecond, but here’s some stuff you should know:

» If you listen to Her Jazz over the internet, tomorrow you will be out of luck, as WPRB plans to observe the Internet Radio Day of Silence. This event was organized to draw attention to an impending royalty rate increase that, if implemented, may lead to the virtual shutdown of this country’s Internet radio industry. To see a list of participating stations, learn more about why this is happening and more check out the site above or Save Net Radio.

» That said, you can still tune in through the good old FM signal — I’ll be giving away tickets to the Fiery Furnaces at the North Star Bar.

» Friday night I watched Parts & Labor rock the fuck out to a crowd of 300+ at a crumbling warehouse in Bushwick. Matt & Kim, whom I’m not so into, were pretty great.

» Saturday I saw S-S-S-S-Spectres, Ex Models and Ghostface (Who! Was! Taking! Requests?!) — not on the same bill, of course. But you could imagine it that way, since they played on opposite sides of the East River.

» And Sunday I made my inner 15 year old pleased as punch thanks to Superchunk’s show at McCarren Park.

» I kind of hate it when everyone crams political endorsements down my throat, which is why I didn’t want to tell you who to vote for. Frankly, it’s a free country — you do what you want, OK? But I’ve been pulling for Nutter (typing that sentence out just sounds totally dirty); needless to say I am psyched he won the primary. There’s a long way to go though — 62.83% (out of 284,328 voters) picked someone else. Here’s to hoping that Election Day has a better turnout.

» Metuchen, NJ’s own Roadside Graves were reviewed on Pitchfork yesterday. And to think we all had B lunch together. Or was it C? I forget. You’d never expect/believe it, but Metuchen High was a veritable hotbed of musical activity in the 90’s. And I’m not talking about being in jazz band (which I totally was) or marching band (ditto). In retrospect, I’m kind of amazed at how much musical output there was — and many of those folks are still at it today. Whatever happened to my Slothbreath t-shirt, anyway?

» Looking northward, DJ and producer Shan Boogie is working on a documentary called Foundations, dealing with the cross-pollination of creative cultures in NYC during the 1980’s. It’s in the very early stages of production, but this little promo teaser is pretty effing fantastic. Can’t wait to see what the finished product looks like!

» Concertmania as of late: Public Record, Sloan, Small Sins, Tussle, Professor Murder — all of whom were really fantastic. Damn you Toby and Adam, for not tipping me off to PM sooner!

» I’ve been a firm believer that nothing good would ever come from Enya’s “Sail Away” — a.k.a., the song from the Crystal Light commerical — but finally, finally I’ve been proven wrong. Beach weirdos win out:

Professor Murder, “That’s How They Getcha”
Pick up their self-titled release here!

Yo Majesty “Club Action” (Chris Bagraider’s Sailing to Baltimore remix)
Pick up the Yo EP here!

» Speaking of beach weirdos, DJ Mental Feelings (Chris of Espers, SHAVE HEAD) is spinning at tonight’s preview screening for Flight of the Conchords — RSVP here. Word on the street is that HBO’s dropping some serious $$$ on this party. As soon as it’s done, bounce over to Big Jar Books for Lambsbread.

» Listen up L.A.: My friend Megan Geckler is part of a group art exhibition this weekend, entitled “FR8“. Commissioned by the City of San Pedro, the artists featured in this exhibit will display their work in shipping containers along the city’s waterfront. It’s a one night only deal, so if you slack, youre going to totally miss it. Here is an amazing time-lapse photo of Megan and her assistants installing the work.

» I’ve got a Soundadvice pick on Tussle (Now 100% Totally Without Andy Cabic) for the CIty Paper this week:

San Francisco’s Tussle’s most recent release is packed tighter than a pair of hipster’s jeans at Making Time; Telescope Mind (Smalltown Supersound) closely resembles the ur-dancepunk it’s drawing heavy inspiration from. Drifting away from the dub influences of earlier records, Telescope finds motorik rhythms pressing tightly against a linear expression of keyboards unable to decide whether they’re CB radios or heavenly transmissions (answer: they’re both), and contributions from Liquid Liquid’s Sal Principato.

Tussle, “Flicker” (From Telescope Mind)
Buy this record at iTunes or Smalltown Supersound!

» I know, I can’t shut up with the Sassy talk these days, but HSCMYL co-author Marisa is already hard at work on her next book — and she wants Y-O-U to fill out a questionnaire. I never thought that my goofy little Q&A would be of use; lo and behold, one of my answers winds up in the book. Anyway, I’ve gorked her email to prevent spammers, once again but copy and paste the following with your answers and send ‘em along to her:

I’m writing a book about women, music, and the 1990s for the publisher Farrar, Straus and Giroux, to be published in early 2009.

The general theme is to take a critical look at the idea of girl power in its many forms — from the riot grrrls to the Spice Girls, Britney Spears to Beyonce, “girls kick ass” baby tees to girls rock camps, and everything in between — and I’m interviewing lots of musicians, critics, and the like, but I also really want to hear from fans.

I’ve included a few questions to prompt deep thoughts, but I’m interested in really anything you have to say on the subject. I hope you’ll spend some time thinking about this, but I’d also love to get your answers sooner rather than later. Please send them to me.

Please do forward this to friends (male and female alike), mailing lists, bulletin boards, post on blogs, whatever!

Best,
Marisa

PS: The Sassy book is out and full of quotes from fans I contacted through a very similar mass email about two years ago.

———————————

I’d like your name and age.

Define “girl power” as you see it. Was it third wave feminism given a sparkly, apolitical makeover? Or a social phenomenon?

Even though this book is mostly about the 90s, I’m also talking about the decades before. What kind of music did you grow up listening to? I’m especially interested in music by women, of course. Were you glued to watching Madonna and Cyndi Lauper on MTV? Did you have an intense listening to Joni-Mitchell-in-my-bedroom phase?

What music were you listening to in the 90s? And what are you listening to now? Specific songs, bands, whatever comes to mind.

I would absolutely love to hear anecdotes about concerts you’ve attended. Did you see boys getting pushed out of the front at a Bikini Kill show? Did you go to Lilith Fair for Liz Phair, but stayed so you could sing along to the Indigo Girls? Did you organize a Ladyfest? Did you and your best friend go see Christina Aguilera play at Madison Square Garden?

Was there a stronger sense of female empowerment, not just in music, but in our culture in general, during the 90s? What do you think of the decade now?

Now that Sleater-Kinney broke up, Le Tigre is on some kind of extended hiatus, Destiny’s Child is no longer, and Ladyfests seem to be on the wane, is this a dark moment for women in music? Will popular music be always and forever a boys’ club, or are we on the verge of some kind of real cultural change? I would love to hear your thoughts on where you think this is all headed–what makes you depressed and what gives you hope? What is girl power today?

» Not to end this message on a downer note or anything, but ESG’s Valerie Scroggins is currently being investigated for defrauding the NYC Transit Authority through workman’s compensation:

Valerie Scroggins, the drummer for acclaimed art-funk ensemble ESG, autographed CDs and posed for photos with fans during a concert tour in Europe last year.

But one of the fans turned out to be an investigator for the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, and Scroggins, an NYC Transit bus driver receiving workers’ compensation for shoulder injuries, was nabbed.

Scroggins, 44, was indicted yesterday by a Brooklyn grand jury on charges of taking more than $13,000 in workers’ compensation, Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes said.

(Grace Slick, c. 1970. © Herb Greene)

» Good News! I’m back on WPRB this summer, beginning May 29th. I’ll be on the air every Tuesday from 5-7 PM EST. I promise to fill up rush hour with plenty of hot tunes and “witty” banter. TUNE IN TUNE IN TUNE IN TUNE IN

» Swiped from the jaws of Idolator, Street Census has a pretty great What Not To Do re: publicity. Here’s another suggestion: before you sign me up for your band/project/etc’s mailing list, introduce yourselves. Maybe it’s ego, maybe I just feel like having a clue about who’s behind the email, but nothing drives me crazier than being thrown randomly onto an announcement list.

» West Philly Food Alert: May I please praise the wonder and genius that is Tacos Don Memo (38th St bet. Walnut & Sansom)? This little food truck brings me such lunchtime joy with awesome Mexican goodies. Sometimes the wait is a little long, but the owners make it up with freebies — today I got a free tamarindo drink, other times there’s been fresh tortilla chips to nosh on during the wait. 3 tacos run you 6 bucks; the little slices of pineapple in my spicy pork are pure heaven.

» I love lolcats, Bader over at Daily Miltonian explains why.

» Twee or twee-like seems to be the order of the day: NYC’s Thee Yankee Dollar make the pixelated frequencies of modern mp3’s work in their favor — just think of it as a double-shot of lo-fi goodness. And I’ve always loved this September 67 song. I caught them a few times and while I can’t remember who they opened up for, their songs had a slight snotty edge amidst the pretty guitars that kept me listening, all these years later. Where are they now? Aaanyways, enjoy!

Thee Yankee Dollar, “Ask Me Now”
September 67, “Steve Malkmus Is A Fucking Snob”

» OK, let’s just stop to think about how bizarre it is to read about figure skating on the self-proclaimed “world’s most dangerous site”. Maybe one day in the future, it won’t seem so odd to see thugs decked out in sequined neon pink spandex gliding across the ice, but for right now it’s sort of mind-blowing. Figure skating’s whitebreadedness runs rampant, so it’s no surprise that hip hop receives very little love from its community; most attempts come off like Al Jolson in blackface. (Blades of Glory mines this area for a majority of its laughs, “Haw, haw, look at the clueless skaters, their corny outfits and being 10-15 years behind musical trends!”) Maybe if figure skating’s governing bodies addressed this with some sort of programming initiative, maybe skating would cease to be laughably awful. At least from a glance, rollerskating seems less divided on gender/ethnicity/class issues; additionally it’s been more in tune, if not instrumental, with musical trends (disco, hip hop, etc) as a result of its egalitarian attitude.

U.S. Ice Dance Champions Campaign for Hip-Hop Music in Competition
By Chris Richburg

Hip-Hop may be one of the hottest genres in music, but it has received a chilly reception in the world of ice dancing.

However, that may change if four-time U.S. ice dance champions Tanith Belbin and Ben Agosto have a say.

Belbin and Agosto are recognized world-wide as one of the top American couples in ice dancing.

The 2006 Olympic silver medalists recently captured a bronze medal at the 2006 world championships.

The pair incorporated music from Justin Timberlake during their routine Friday night (April 6) at the Marshalls Showcase, the final event of the figure skating season.

The positive crowd reaction reinforced Belbin and Agosto’s belief that ice-skating audiences are ready to hear new music from skaters.

”We’re trying to push Hip-Hop and it’s never been accepted in the current international community,” Belbin told the San Diego Union Tribune. ”Hopefully someday we’ll be able to spice up the competitions. ‘We meet after the world championships every year and talk about the regulations for next season. We need more North American teams trying it before we can get it accepted,” she added.

Although changes in ice dance have been slow, there has been progress over the last decade.

”It’s difficult, because we’re young and a new generation and this is what we listen to and dance to,” said Belbin, who remains positive in spite of the uphill battle to have Hip-Hop accepted. ”It’s tough to be deprived of it.”

While the International Skating Union has encouraged skaters to try something from their culture, the governing body has provided no guidelines, as evidenced by news that the original dance for next season will be folk music.

There are few parameters offered on what defines folk.

”We’re trying to expand the audience of our sport and Hip-Hop is a huge part of our culture,” said Agosto. “We’d love to tap into it.”

Belbin and Agosto are currently on tour with Champions on Ice. After the tour, the duo will take a break and work on new routines that could include more Hip-Hop.

» Whitney Pastorek (who is really, really good at covering Bon Jovi on the acoustic guitar, if I say so) wrote this kind of amazing piece about the state of critical thought in these You™-heavy times. Yeah, it’s nothing new, but it was good to read.

» Tonight I’m off to cover Spoon at the Stone Pony in Asbury Park, NJ — what, did you think I was going to spend 15$ to watch the band in a crowded, poorly ventilated room here in town? You must be out of your freaking mind. I really, really want Springsteen to show up and jam with the band.

» Last but not least, my radio show is on tomorrow. Same Bat time, same Bat channel. I had to take off last week on account of some Heavy Life Stuff.