a loveless ribbon

it’s still early in the night, and im laying in bed trying to fit my head into the dent left by his in the pillow. actually its still early enough to head on over to transit, and my mind conjures up dollar signs with wings, floating away for every drink i consume. too soon anyway. i could fall asleep, if only there wasn’t that one damn nagging thought in my mind.

ke was the only person who fascinated me, in good and bad ways. moments in which he managed to slide into my life were exhilarating, and the quick exits filled with hasty hugs left me pondering things for days. his non-existence in my life spurred some of the more feminine behavior i’ve exhibited - silently pining away at my desk, staring at a sunset, remembrances of events appearing in dreams late at night, and most of all, silently hoping for his return.

there’s been quite a few people since ke wandered into my life, some of which have become long-term relationships, others as fizzling and hopeless courtships; all of which refuse to compare.

now, this isn’t part of that feminine behavior i had discussed earlier, but an acute observation solidified with evidence of what i’m doing at this exact moment. i’m writing on a goddamn laptop after a lovely evening spent with a lovely person. as time and partner passes, what we shall refer to as a grieving period, shortens. tonight, only some short time after sb has left, im ready for the next thing. isn’t anything sacred in my life anymore?

This entry was posted on Friday, September 28th, 2001 at 11:20 pm and is filed under general.